Consensus decision making

Consensus decision making

Consensus decision making is a method of discussing issues and making decisions together.

This resource is designed to assist with communication, community discussions, community organising, and organising events or activities collectively. It can be useful in both formal and informal groups; including families, friends, and relationship.

You can download this PDF below, or purchase a poster at our online store here.

This resource pairs well with our Active listening resource.

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Free online workshops for parents and whānau

Free online workshops for parents and whānau

Rainbow Support Collective is holding a series of free online workshops as part of it’s Be There awareness campaign for whānau.

If you are a parent or whānau member of a rainbow young person, these workshops are for you. You will learn tips from Gender Minorities Aotearoa and other Rainbow organisations, and have the opportunity to share experiences with other parents and whānau.

The upcoming workshops will be held on:

  • Saturday 24th September at 2pm
  • Sunday 2nd October at 2pm
  • Wednesday 5th October at 7pm
Raw Sugar Social Events: 2021

Raw Sugar Social Events: 2021

Nau mai haere mai, Raw Sugar free monthly transgender sober social events are back for 2021!

Note: under Covid-19 alert level 2, 3, and 4 all our face-to-face events are cancelled.
If we are in alert level 1, Raw Sugar will operate as usual.

Who & what

Join us for social chats, games, cups of tea, and potluck snacks with lovely people! All transgender and intersex people welcome. Bring yourself, whānau, friends, and finger food kai to share if you want to.

2pm to 4pm: snacks and chats and games (including things like Connect 4, Articulate!, Jackbox TV games, and Unstable Unicorns). The first 2 hours is suitable for folks of any age.

4pm to 6pm: film screening (sometimes rated R16 or R18). This part of the event is more suitable for people aged 16 or over.

When & where

Raw Sugar Wellington is held on the second weekend each month, from 2 till 6pm (usually on the Saturday). We have moved Raw Sugar from our drop in centre at 130 Riddiford street Newtown, into the new venue of the Newtown Community and Cultural Centre – which is now directly across the street upstarirs in the old ANZ building at 2A Green street (down the side street, and on the right).


The venue is fully mobility accessible, with an elevator to the top floor. There are all-genders accessible toilets. We’re aiming for a low allergen space, so no sprays or air-freshers, and please don’t wear perfume or cologne. Disability assist animals are welcome, however due to allergies and phobias please do not bring any other animals. Sometimes we have around 40 people attending, and there is a quieter room available to hang out if it’s a bit noisy.

Dates & times


End of the year

We will be running a rainbow community event at Vinegar Hill in December, on a day TBC between December 27th and December 31st. Check out the Vinegar Hill Gay Camp website for more info.

Volunteers Needed in Wellington

Volunteers Needed in Wellington

We’re always up to something, and we’d love for you to join us as a volunteer!

We run monthly Raw Sugar sober socials at Newtown Community and Cultural Centre – a mobility accessible community lounge in Newtown. We also run other events throughout the year, or hold fund raising stalls at PRIDE and other community events.

We need folks to help with things like:
Help set up (tidying, set up food, etc).
Greet people as they arrive, bring them in.
Cook/bake/bring some finger food.
Plan a social game or activity.
Facilitate a game (eg. bingo, a word game, etc).
Bring tarot/manicure/another creative setup.
Help pack up (wash dishes, vacuum, tidying).
Something else we haven’t thought of!

We would really appreciate your support – if you have time and want to help out, please fill the form below.

It’s Your Choice: Personal Autonomy in a Relationship

It’s Your Choice: Personal Autonomy in a Relationship

One of the most important things in a relationship is having your own autonomy – or getting to make decisions for yourself. If both or all partners get to be in charge of their own lives, then you have a great foundation for making room for each other and growing together. When one person controls another person, it’s easy for the relationship to become abusive. In a healthy relationship each partner should have control over themself.

Visual of the text below.
Visual of the text below.

Some of the decisions you should be free to make include decisions about

  • Sleeping and eating – what, where, when, and how much.
  • Medications, hormones, surgical decisions, self care, and time alone.
  • Declining to be a partner’s sole source of support, or having boundaries to the support you can personally provide.
  • Where to go and who to spend time with.
  • Social reputation, which information is shared with whom.
  • Ability to say no: to sexual activities and physical intimacy, alcohol and other drug use, unsafe situations like drinking and driving or transphobic social situations.
  • Diary, journal, passwords.
  • Important documents eg. tenancy, immigration, work, school, WINZ, identification, passport.
  • Private communication and support networks, such as social media, email, phone, personal messages.
  • Personal expression: clothing, hairstyle, language and mannerisms.
  • Income: how it’s made, how it’s used, and who can access it.
  • Culture, cultural knowledge, values, language, history, beliefs, spiritual or religious practice.

If you are controlling your partner

If you are controlling your partners decisions, there are steps you can take to relinquish control over them and let them make their own decisions. The same is true for anyone who is controlling your decisions.

For the person in control, the first steps are often the hardest: recognising that controlling a partner is a problem, accepting that they have been participating in an unhealthy dynamic, and taking personal responsibility for making changes.

Anxieties, fears, insecurities, and beliefs or values can all play roles in how comfortable we are accepting that others can change, and allowing them the freedom to do so. Some people find it helpful to talk with a counselor or another adult they trust, or look for resources about healthy relationships.

Autonomy workbook

Learn more about healthy relationships

Thank you to our sponsors

This resource was developed with support from International Trans Fund, and Wellington City Council.