Sex and relationships
Resources for safer sex and healthier relationships for transgender people and their partners.
Online courses
The transgender guide to sex and relationships
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
Booklets and videos
Solving relationship issues
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This booklet (and video) discusses topics like taking responsibility in a relationship, emotional labor, relationship management, and frameworks for making decisions, setting goals, and carrying out plans together.
Includes German translation.
Barrier methods for safer sex
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This booklet (and video) discusses using barrier methods for protection against sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies.
Includes German translation.
Identifying risks – systems for staying safe
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This booklet discusses different types of risks, and the idea that trusting your instincts isn’t always enough. It introduces using a risk analysis framework, which you can find out more about in our course The transgender guide to sex and relationships.
What do bodies mean?
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This workbook presents many common myths about transgender people’s bodies and associated sexual behaviors, alongside the facts.
Includes German and Russian translations.
Bad narratives
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
The chart outlines some of the stereotypes, prejudices, and discrimination related to trans people, sex and relationships, as well as ways this can impact a transgender person.
Includes German translation.
Glorious bodies
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This booklet discusses 13 personal journeys toward self-love, and discusses topics like attractiveness, shame, love, sex, and medical transition.
Includes German and Russian translations.
Feeling myself – a sexuality workbook for transgender adults
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
Feeling myself is a sexuality workbook about discovering what feels good to you. It looks at managing dysphoria, exploring sensory experiences, types of touch, and the thoughts, feelings, and fantasies which you like or dislike.
Includes German and Russian translations.
Listening – the right tools for the job
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This workbook discusses different kinds of communication, and provides tools for listening and responding in different types of situations.
Trauma triggers and how to talk about them
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2021).
The resource explains what trauma triggers are, how someone might be affected by one, and how you can explore discussing this with partners.
Includes German and Russian translations.
Coping with trauma
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This workbook explains emotional and body responses to fear and survival mechanisms, as well as behavioral responses, and how to recognise a trauma response. Learners are prompted to identify how they might know if they’re experiencing a trauma response, and how they want to react or want partners to respond.
Includes German and Russian translations.
If you are sexually assaulted – understanding your options
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This booklet discusses getting to safety, your rights, medical and emergency contraceptive support, medical forensic examination, making a complaint to Police, legal support, counseling and ACC, crisis support, and support from friends and family.
My intersex self
Intersex Aotearoa, in collaboration with Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This booklet explores some of the positive and empowering ways that intersex people feel about their bodies.
Genital development chart
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This genital development chart shows that we all start with the same genital tissues, and while they may change in a variety of ways there is actually very little difference between different kinds of genitals. It supports that it is not simply biology which determines what kinds of experiences you will want to have or not have.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship dynamic
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2021).
This article talks about signs that something may not be working, identifying unhealthy dynamics in a relationship, and dealing with common scenarios for trans people.
Includes German and Russian translations.
Consent
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2021).
This resource explains some core concepts for making sure you have consent in sexual situations, as well as practical steps and examples.
Includes German and Russian translations.
Quintessential quadrants
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2022).
This booklet offers a framework to assist in working out what it is that you do want, and builds on the concept of consent as an agreement about what both partners do want, and how they want it to happen.
A good argument: fighting without fighting
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2021).
This resource is about having healthier, safer, and more productive arguments by planning how to argue.
Dating a trans person 101: respect
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2021).
This booklet discusses ways that you can respect a transgender partner.
Includes German translation.
Active listening: a communication resource
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2021).
This resource is a guide to using a communication technique called Active Listening.
Ending an abusive relationship
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2021).
This article talks about leaving a relationship which is harming you.
Featured:
It’s your choice: personal autonomy in a relationship
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2021).
This resource is about having your own autonomy in a relationship – or getting to make decisions for yourself.
Research and more
ARC Readiness Assessment: transgender and intersex competency in violence prevention services.
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2023).
ARC Transgender community report: seeking help for sexual violence or family violence.
Gender Minorities Aotearoa (2023).
ARC intersex community survey report: intersex community members seeking help for sexual violence or family violence.
Intersex Aotearoa (2023).
Te Aorerekura national strategy to eliminate family violence and sexual violence: LGBTQIA+ Analysis Paper
New Zealand Government (2022).
Intersex and Medicalized Rape
NNID Foundation (2020).
Counting Ourselves: The health and wellbeing of trans and non-binary people in Aotearoa New Zealand
Veale J, Byrne J, Tan K, Guy S, Yee A, Nopera T & Bentham R. Transgender Health Research Lab, University of Waikato: Hamilton NZ (2019).
He ara mataora: community based approach to stopping violence
Te Wānanga o Raukawa, Creative Interventions.
To Be Frank
(An organisation providing rainbow-friendly relationship and sexuality education to disabled people).
Writing themselves In 4
Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society (2019).
In our own words sexual violence report
Thursdays In Black (2017). With collaboration from Gender Minorities Aotearoa.
Te ira tangata
Te Whāriki Takapou (2021).
Guide for transformative prevention programming
National Sexual Violence Research Center, Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape (2012). (USA).
Safety planning: a guide for transgender and gender non-conforming individuals who are experiencing intimate partner violence
Forge (2013). (USA).
Need support?
If you are experiencing difficulties in a relationship and need to talk, or if you have experienced sexual violence or other abuse, you can get in touch with us. We’re not here to tell you what to do or pressure you to report to anyone, we’re here to listen and give you information on different options, if you choose them.
